Through counselling you can experience:
• freedom from old patterns that don’t work any more
• possibility where you once felt stuck
• insight into why you feel and react the way you do
• connection to your deepest yearnings and hopes.
My hope is that at every session you will gain new awareness, new insight and new tools to help you feel stronger. This allows you to experience new possibilities and new ways of responding.
Initially it is very important that you come consistently (weekly is best) so you can build on the steps you are taking. The initial shifts are the most difficult to make, as you need to build both awareness and momentum. As you progress, we can meet less frequently as you will have developed internal resources to help you in your journey.
Once you decide to start counselling, I ask you to commit to 3 sessions so we can explore your areas of struggle, set goals, agree on the steps needed to meet your goals, and begin our work together.
If your issues are complicated, expect to come for at least 12 weeks.
Counselling is a commitment to yourself. You deserve it!
“Just living is not enough… one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.”
~ Hans Christian Anderson
My daughter is going to start counselling next week, and all of us are really concerned about her. She was raped at a party while she was out of state at school, and decided to come home after the semester ended to try and find some professional counselling to help her heal from the trauma of the experience. We are very proud and applaud her courage, but as a mother I feel kinda helpless because I’ve never been to counselling, and I don’t know how to offer her any help. What should I expect her to receive from a counselling experience? How can I help her regain her confidence in her life?
Taylor, these are excellent questions that you are asking. You are in a difficult position, because you are caught between caring very deeply and not knowing how to support your daughter through this time. I recommend finding a balance between asking your daughter if there are ways that you can help, which shows your concern, and also respecting her privacy and her need to share information on her own terms – when she is ready – which allows her to regain a sense of control over her life and trust in herself.
If your daughter has chosen to come home in order to have time to heal, I think she feels safe at home, and that is a very good sign. Letting her know that you are proud of her and that you believe in her are also very important messages. A rape is so damaging because the victim often blames herself or feels that she should have done something to stop it. Her healing work is to understand that what happened was not her fault (even if, for example, she had too much to drink), and that she responded in the best way she could given the circumstances.
What should you be looking for as your daughter goes through counselling? Your daughter should start feeling stronger and know that even though this happened, she can feel good about herself, learn from the experience, and not feel responsible for what happened.
Just one more thing to be aware of. Healing does take time, so don’t expect things to change immediately. However, if you don’t see any progress at all, or if you are concerned that the counsellor is not the best “fit” for your daughter, don’t be afraid to ask questions and look for a different counsellor that your daughter feels comfortable working with. I would recommend doing this together with your daughter, making sure that she is in agreement. It’s just important that you both know that you have options, and that you will know if the counsellor feels right.
I wish you both the best as you embark on this healing journey.
Tricia